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Mumblings and Musings September 9th 2015

Never Say This Word Again...
and See What Changes in Your Life

Even though it was over 45 years ago, I can remember the letter: "Your mother is coming home after surgery. You should come back to help take care of her."

I read the words again and again... and with each reading a wave of heaviness filled me. I didn't want to go. I had managed to make my way to Hawaii and felt like I was starting a new life. I didn't want to toss it all away and go home, especially as I had had a very difficult relationship with my mother. (At one point in my childhood, my mother was put in a mental institution for a couple of years because the authorities were worried she might kill me during one of her violent episodes.) If I went back to Ohio to take care of her, I was fairly certain that it would feel like I'd been put in a black hole. I worried if I would ever make it out again. But, I knew that I "should" go.

My life up to that point had been filled with shoulds. For example, I lived by the credo that "I should always be nice, no matter what." (I was voted "nicest" in high school.) You give up a lot by always being nice... it usually means that you spend so much time pleasing others that you don't even know your own heart.

After reading the letter, I walked on a white sand beach with a friend. "I have to leave Hawaii and go back to take care of my mother," I said sadly.

"Why don't you stay here?" my friend replied.

I was appalled that she would say this. Everyone knew that children should take care of their parents.

"Of course, I should go. I have to go," I said defensively.

She was quiet for awhile and then said softly. "Actually, you don't have to go. You can choose to stay."

I could choose to stay? Really? I couldn't believe she said that. But her words began to sink inside of me.

"But if I stayed, I would feel so guilty," I finally replied.

"You could choose to stay... and you could also choose not to feel guilty about it," she said calmly.

I abruptly stopped walking. My life had been so focused on pleasing everyone - at all costs - that it never occurred to me that I had a choice. Something shifted inside of me.

I didn't have to go... and I didn't have to feel guilty?

My reaction to this felt something akin to humans seeing fire for the first time. It was revolutionary. I realized that guilt is a way of punishing ourselves when we don't do what we "should" do. And I realized that I didn't need to punish myself any more. Life was hard enough on me without adding the burden of additional self- punishment.

I asked myself, What if I deleted the "shoulds" in life? I became still and listened to my soul. (The soul indeed knows the truth... and loves the truth.) The truth was that I had choices in life and when I knew a choice was right for me... I could choose it without guilt.

A whole new world had opened up for me. I realized that I didn't have to live my life according to the dictates of others. I didn't have to feel guilty about my life choices. (In some ways it even felt like guilt was a way of not taking responsibility for my life choices.)

In the end, I didn't go to Ohio. (For the most part, I didn't feel guilty about my choice.) Amazingly my relationship with my mother improved. It was as if her soul didn't want me to be with her out of guilt either.

This new way of seeing the world ignited a whole new cycle in my life. I began to delete the word "should" from my vocabulary... and it made all the difference. Now in my life, for the most part, I only make promises that I keep (and that I want to keep). I very rarely feel there is something that I should do. I either "do or don't do."

EXERCISE:
Try this: Whenever you get lured by guilt (or something you think you should do but don't want to) change the inner dialogue.

  • Instead of "I should answer all my e-mails immediately," change it to: "I could answer all my e-mails immediately, but I choose not to do so at this time."
  • Instead of "I should call my mother every week," change it to:
    "I could call my mother, but I choose not to at this time."
  • The truth is that you could answer all your e-mails and/or call your mother every week. (If someone paid you a million dollars to do so, you'd probably do it in a heartbeat.) And the truth is that you are choosing not to, at this time.

As a suggestion, for one week eliminate the word (and even the thought) of "should" from your vocabulary, and you'll most likely notice a huge influx of energy into your life.

Many Blessings to you on your journey!

Denise Linn

 

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I'd love to see you at one of these events:

 

Home in Harmony Master Class
September 14, 2015
Reserve Your Spot Now for this Free Event!

Imagine being able to tap into the minds of people who are successful at creating an inspired life! Christa O'Leary and her team have pulled together leading experts to do just that! I am so excited to be able to give you a complimentary All-Access-Pass to The Home in Harmony Master Class that will provide you with simple solutions on designing your best life! You will learn successful secrets for home harmony, health and happiness from an extraordinary group of nationally and internationally recognized authorities!
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Creativity, Education, Thinking Telesummit
Available for download

The Telesummit of Creativity, Thinking & Education will include presentations by nine internationally acclaimed speakers covering a range of topics towards building a new paradigm for education and creativity.
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I CAN DO IT! Orlando
September 18 - 20, 2015
The Orange County Convention Center

Clear Your Past,
Open the Gateway for an Awesome Future

I love teaching in Florida!!! Here are just of a few of the awesome speakers that will be there: Cheryl Richardson, Caroline Myss, John Holland, Joan Borysenko, Anita Moorjani, Bruce Lipton, Joe Dispenza, Mike Dooley, Robert Holden and many more... and me! Here is some information.
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Celebrate Your Life Conference
November 6 - 9, 2015
Phoenix Arizona

This is going to be AWESOME! There are 30 different workshops with folks like Marianne Williamson, Colette Baron Reid, Don Miquel Ruiz, Iyanla Vanzant, Jean Huston, Joe Dispenza, Neale Donald Walsh, John Holland, Bruce Lipton, Greg Braden and many more... and me!
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Sedona Journey with Denise Linn
November 10 - 12, 2015
Enchantment Resort in Sedona

For those of you who are attending Celebrate Your Life, you now have an exclusive opportunity immediately following the conference, to take a magical journey to Sedona with bestselling author and renowned spiritual teacher Denise Linn. We are ONLY taking a very limited amount of people on this sacred journey and ONLY permitting those who are attending Celebrate Your Life to be a part of this event.
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